This interview was given on October 14, 2000.

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When did you start listening to Don and Mike?
Dennis:	I started listening to Don and Mike when they came on the air back in December of ’85.
Why did you start listening to the show?
Dennis:	I liked Don and Mike’s humor. I like the interaction between each other. I liked how they got the audience involved in the show.
When did you first meet the radio gods?
Dennis:	I did not officially meet Don and Mike until October 26th of ’86. I won a contest through the radio station to see the Redskins and Giants at the Meadowlands. You had to send in postcards with your name, address, and phone number. I sent in maybe 40 postcards and, you know, thank god I won. And if it wasn’t for this, I would be just be a nobody. I am still a nobody, but at least Don and Mike have been good to me.
When was your first on-air appearance?
Dennis:	I kept calling the show from ’86 to ’93. And then I mentioned to Don and Mike on the air when I called in that I hadn’t lost my virginity yet and so Don and Mike said, "Hmmmm…You haven’t?" So that’s when Don and Mike had the idea to send me to the Mustang Ranch in Reno, NV where I tried to lose my virginity. I met this girl Shayla, she prepped me and all that and she put me on the toilet. I was sitting on the toilet frontwards and she was like scrubbing my legs to make sure I’m clean and when I, basically I was getting a boner when she was scrubbing my legs but once we got to the bed, Little Dennis didn’t want to do anything. So I just sat in the bed for an hour and a half. Nothing happened. That was November of ’93. That got taken care of by Denise the Dominatrix on September 16th, 1994. We met at the Jefferson Hotel and the room number, I don’t know why I remember the room numbers, but the room number was 513. Basically, Denise showed me how to release my load and it was a good time. Denise, that was basically the last time I saw Denise, September 94, I don’t know where she is now. But that was the one that got me over the hump, so to speak. It got the ball rolling, since September 94 I’ve been with 5 women. I’m happy with the way things are going.
What’s the most exciting thing you done as part of the show?
Dennis:	I’d have to say there’s two exciting things. First, is when I jumped out of an airplane back in February of ’99 in Sacramento. That was the first thing that was exciting. I’ll tell you something, I jumped from 14,000 feet and I still can’t believe I jumped out of that airplane, but I’m glad that I did it. I’m glad I jumped out of the airplane and that I had that experience, but would I do it again? Probably not.
What was the other experience?
Dennis:	This just happened this year, February 2000. Don and Mike and were giving away this hot-tub, so the contest was for women to come into the hot-tub and kiss me. The longest kiss would win the hot-tub, but two women kissed me for 20 minutes and we had to have a drawing to decide who won the hot-tub. I ended up kissing 4 girls in a hot-tub, WOW that was very very interesting. I wouldn’t mind doing that again. <chuckle> Yup.
What were your appearances in Gettysburg and York, PA like?
Dennis:	The first thing I want to do is thank Vince Grant, the owner of WOYK for inviting me up. It was the station and Budweiser. I want to think Vince Grant and the Bud people who took me around that Friday and Saturday in September. It was very interesting. I went to two separate bars. The first bar I went to was Murph’s Study Hall and basically at that bar at least a hundred people showed up just to meet me and to have fun and play games to win prizes. Then Saturday night I ended up going to JD’s Grill in Gettysburg where I met some people from Baltimore, which is a little over an hour away. It was very exciting. At that appearance, I ended up eating crème pie off a Budweiser girl. She put the crème pie on her lap so I was eating pie off her lap.
During that night you called into the show and announced where you where you were staying in York?
Dennis:	I announced where I was, the Comfort Inn, Room 108, and actually two people met me at the hotel room and I ended up getting one t-shirt sale. I was very happy. I also got several phone calls. A couple from Sacramento, one from Pebble Beach and also I got a couple from Wichita.
What’s next for you?
Dennis:	Don & Mike are sending me to Cancun Mexico for a triple-XXX extreme vacation. That’s where there will be a lot of porno people making movies. What I’ll be doing is just watching, but the actors will make the movies and I can’t wait. I’ll be there for five days and four nights. I can’t wait. I really appreciate Don and Mike sending me there, this is a first. I’ve never been to a convention like this before…an adult convention like this.
What do you do for business and pleasure when you’re not being a major F***ing star?
Dennis:	Well, my full-time job is being an accountant for this paper company in Landover, MD. I’ve been there the last two years and it’s a good job. What I like about it is they give me the freedom to take time off to go, if I have to go out of town for a Don & Mike Event, they usually let me have the time off.
Are they big Don and Mike fans at the company?
Dennis:	I would say, of the 200 people who work there at least 50 people listen to the show. If I do something outrageous, I will hear about it. But usually I haven’t gotten no flack from my coworkers from being on the show.
In what ways are Don and Mike different then they portray themselves on the air?
Dennis:	Actually, with Don, I think basically what you hear on the air is how he is in real life. For example, he doesn’t like being out in public. He loves doing the radio show but he doesn’t want to get the public notoriety. He wants to go in, do the show, and that’s it. Basically that’s the same way when there is a Las Vegas style show. Don and Mike do the show, and Don usually leaves, and Mike sometimes hangs around and mingles with the crowd. With Mike, what you hear on the show is basically how is in real life. What you hear on the Don & Mike show is how they are in real life, for the most part.
Why don’t you ever smile?
Dennis:	The reason why I don’t smile is that I have a syndrome, it is called Moebius syndrome. I have facial paralysis. None of my smile muscles work. The only thing that I can do is open my mouth, close my eyes most of the way and then I can twitch my lips on the right side. Not many people have this, I would say 250,000 in the whole world have this disease. The reason why people can’t understand me is I have a half tongue. That is part of Moebius syndrome. In a lot of cases people only have half tongues and that is why I cannot speak clearly.
Is Moebius associated with your hand?
Dennis:	It could be, because in a lot of cases you are deformed. In my case, I was born without a hand, plus I was born with club feet, which the doctor fixed when I was six months old.
How has going on the Don and Mike show changed your life?
Dennis:	It has changed my life in some ways. When I go out to restaurants and bars, a lot of people recognize my voice and say "are you Dennis from the Don & Mike show?" and I say "unfortunately, yeah." But I don’t mind getting recognized, and hey the voice is pretty obvious…not many people talk like this.